| Guidelines : Appropriate and
Inappropriate Humor |
The basic rule here is that any humor that is exclusive, separates
people, puts someone down or ridicules others, destroys self-esteem,
uses stereotypes of groups, encourages a negative atmosphere, offends
others or lacks awareness of others feelings is inappropriate.
Appropriate humor is inclusive. It brings people together. It is shared
with all.
It decreases prejudice by focusing on the universal human experience.
It encourages a positive atmosphere. It builds rapport and trust. It is
based on caring.
It is supportive and builds confidence. It can be self-effacing, role
modeling how to poke fun at oneself
without being negative or too self critical. |
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Research
has shown that there is a distinctive difference in the health benefits
of positive and negative humor.
Positive humor as outlined above has positive physiological effects on
one’s body and mind.
Negative humor has not been found to have these same health benefits. |
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Dealing with stress-producing
humor:
What should I do when someone uses inappropriate humor around me and I
don’t like it?
There are several responses open to you depending on the type of person
you are or mood that you are in.
1. You can asked them to retell the
joke except to use their own group instead. Most will say "then it’s
not funny" Exactly!
2. You can simply state that you don’t
appreciate that kind of humor and would they please not use it in front
of you. Reply, "I don't think that's funny."
3. A less direct approach which still gets
the message across is simply not to laugh or smile at the end of the
joke. You may go as far as putting on an angry face if that’s how you
feel.
4. You could choose to educate them by
explaining the differences outlined above between inclusive and
exclusive humor. This will permit them a face-saving response. For
example you could say something like " I’m sure if you were aware of
how mean-spirited that joke makes you sound you wouldn’t use it. Any of
these responses could be done privately or in a group. The peer
pressure of a group would have a stronger impact on the person and let
others know how you feel about offensive humor at the same time.
Most people offend others and tell poor jokes out of
ignorance. We all have different tastes in humor like we do with food.
What is offensive to some is funny to others.
In certain professions there is Gallows humor and others types that the
general public would not understand, but really serves a healthy
purpose as a coping mechanism for stressful and dire work.
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